Happy Birthday to Mathu Andersen, the glamazon behind RuPaul’s hair, makeup & photography.
Largo, Pesante. Slow and heavy. We start in unison, an arpeggiated chord. Sustained. Suspenseful. We are in 6/4 time. Not completely unheard of, but different. From the beginning we are stating that there is something different about us. We are not the typical 4/4 or even 3/4. We’re also in G minor. Moderato. We begin the theme that will continue throughout our song-our story. This melody, though soft and quiet, holds so much in it. The lines build off of each other and gives the effect of a symphony. There is so much going on, but we just started. There is so much depth, almost enough to make you think it isn’t possible for there to be so much, but that is the beauty. From the beginning, there was so much. You are constant with your quarter notes. You take rests, but you’re constant. I on the other hand am singing. My melody seems to be so much more than you’re single notes. You make me so happy that I feel like dancing, but then we drift. Agitato. There is new layer to the song. There’s anger and frustration. Heavy accents cover the page. Sempre piu mosso. There is a build up of emotion. So much going on, and it’s all happening so fast. Again, your constant quarters against my rapid eights clearly make it seem like I’m the one trying. It makes it seem like I’m making a bigger deal of it all. Meno Mosso-sotto voce. You do what you always do and you quietly call me in. I echo you in response and we begin what seems to be the most perfect melody ever written. Though you still seem to be holding on to your quarters, I mix and match my notes and counter balance you. We’re in a gorgeous sea, written in Eb major. And for a moment, you even leave your quarter notes and join me. We play off of each other. pp sempre. Always quiet. You bring the foundation for my line. It’s the perfect slow dance. It’s a tall lily in a fountain nodding to the sun. Its perfection. Sempre dim. e rallentando. The mood is beginning to change. Slightly, but surely. I’m alone for just a second, but you come back. A tempo- sotto voce. Here we are again, our main theme. We’ve had this discussion before, but I’m trying so hard to make my point clear. I emphasize, over and over again, I stress notes and accent as well. I believe that it’s different this time so we’re off! Again, I seem to be giving so much more. We’re in tune, we’re in synch, but it’s heavy. You seem to linger around this E natural and I keep on basing my self off of you. You may change octaves but there I am trying to impress you and build off of that E. Finally, you change, into an E sharp. Why not an F? Why keep the same name? Was this done on purpose so I still trusted you? You wanted me to see you as something that you clearly were no longer. We finally come to a point where we just say enough and it’s time to dance. So that’s what we do. Piu animato. I make myself forget anything in the past and we dance. A happy dance, a fun dance. It’s a whirlwind of joy and happiness. This dance makes us remember what happened not too long ago. Con Forza. We are back in Eb major. This is our song, this is what feels right. You’re finally giving a little more and we’re both in eighths. Always forceful, though still soft and subdued. We found that perfect love song again. Riten dim. rall. Out of nowhere, I’m left hanging and alone. Only for a second though, for you’re back. And we’re back. Back to where we started. Our theme, our motif. Again, you seem to always bring me back to this point, and I cannot stress my line enough. I’m begging and pleading. I am literally throwing myself into you hoping for some way to get back to where we were, but things are going to be different this time. I know it. Il piu forte possible. As loud as possible, I’m yelling at the top of my lungs. Presto con fuco. Fast like fire, but finally in 4/4. What does this mean? After everything that has happened, all that we’ve been through, we are finally doing something normal, but this something is so angry and hurt. You seem to be teasing me with your typical eighth notes while I’m going crazy. We are not on the same page anymore. We are both set in our own ways. Finally, I start climbing. Climbing in hopes to find some answer to all of this at the top. Maybe you’ll even be at the top waiting for me. But you’re not and I fall. Quickly and alone. You find me at the bottom and you join me, in unison, into another climb to the top. We rest only to realize it wasn’t really the top. We continue further towards our goal, but now we’re off. We are no longer in unison. We rest again. Accel. FFF poco ritenuto. Accel. It’s all or nothing from here. We are butting heads at this point and there’s no stopping us. I’m frantically trying to reach you but you won’t seem to give. We meet on a powerful G. Both with outstretched hands Ironic? Who knows. But we descend into a powerful G minor chord. And it’s over.
The question mark (?; also known as an interrogation point, interrogation mark, question point, query or eroteme), is a punctuation mark that replaces the full stop (period) at the end of an interrogative sentence in English and many other languages. The question mark is not used for indirect questions. The question mark character is also often used in place of missing or unknown data.
The question: What am I doing?
The answer: ?
Time and time again, I find myself questioning on whether or not I’m doing something productive with my life. I ask myself if I am doing anything meaningful. There are times when, without the shadow of a doubt, I can answer, and answer assuredly mind you, yes. I AM doing something meaningful. But is there more that I can be doing? Can I be making any bigger of a difference in someone’s or somethings life? Question marks! What should I wear today? What do I want to have for lunch? Should I really text him? Again?? Where are you? Is this fat free? Does that come in a size small? Shit, am I still a size small? Should I really be taking this 14th shot? Tall? Grande? Venti? There’s a new size now?? Do you think he’s thinking about me? What happened last night? The list goes on, and on. Right?
Questions seem to dominate my life. I need more answers. Hopefully, these answers will unfold themselves sooner than later. Until then, I have one more question to ask: How you supposed to have a fashion show with no fashion???